Back to spring! So, is it cold where you are? Are you struggling to break free of your routine, establishing a new one? I never was one for New Year’s Resolutions; they were always a bit arbitrary to me. After all, why choose a day the calendar chose for you? It starts today, right? That magical motivation you’ve been searching for a reason to commit to…

Well, what if your inspiration comes at late night? Set yourself some rules to live the next day by. You know what I’m talking about. Goals. I’ll admit I often ignore these rules, stating some reasons as if they excuse me from ever committing. Sometimes they do hold reason. Sometimes they make sense. “Why work out tonight to say I pushed myself today? It will just make tomorrow more difficult. How about I work out tomorrow morning instead?” Then I wake up late because I was up all night holding myself responsible for being lazy in my last waking hour. Crazy how that works.

If you’re sad, walk. If you’re angry, lift. If you’re exhausted, put your phone down. If you can’t do these things, try working backwards to bring your goals to you. Often times when we try to work from square one to find a path, we lose track of where we’re going. If it’s important to you, try planning it out from the second-to-last step, then making choices that support that direction.

Personally, I’m stuck on “Do I keep writing punch-powerful pieces when they’re dark in nature?” I like writing them, but they also alienate me a little bit from my peers, since sharing them is a risk. Currently, I’ve decided to write them anyway, and share other parts of myself with my peers. It’s okay for one person to have many sides. None of them are fake, so I’m still genuine with my friends.

Here’s a song about self awareness and fighting against your demons.

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Lost to Time

Summon silence, I
Never bend
Pay the price for a means to an end

Sew discordance, I
Can’t pretend
Cut the cable
Unable
The guts never mend

Sell off shared property
We were a wannabe
Wannabe ever after

Our only certainty
Mixed in the remedy
On and off our laughter

Who says we were gonna be
Fake for eternity
They were off the rocker

Turn up for ceremony

When all I had was you and me
I’m burned inside

With the fear of facing all my wasted time
Can’t hide

When all I have is lies

I’m burned inside

My life was irreverent
Caustic, calling out a friend each time

And in my malevolence
Lost it, claiming they’d commit my crime

As if I’d believe it
Never receive it
I’m invincible

Lost in time

Take out my rusted shades
It’s been a minute from my past mistakes
If my memory serves me well
While in to win it, bought my way to hell
(X3)

Before they take my place
I’ll take it over with a mouth of hate
If they would change me too
I’ll be the monster taking over you