They were ingrained into his head, those few key words.

“Nice guys finish last.”

Jerry spat his last shell to the gravel, bringing his sleeve to his lip after noticing a lack of practice.

“They say that, but I’m pretty sure I never cared from the start. Am I supposed to care less? The fxxk! I just… when did this become me?”

The scattering of splats came in just as quickly as it turned to a downpour.

“Aw, come on! Am I not even allowed to cry?”

His frustration and wet mustache were enough to get a move on. All he had were hair and health, and with dampened spirits he needed to look after his dynamic duo.

The creek, overflowing.
The bend, breaking.
The willow, weeping.
The clouds, covering.

All things he knew to be right. The emissaries of his eternal youth, now revealing to him, that they have always been old.

“When did I catch up to where I was going? And when did it lose its sparkle? Why did I come here? Angie was right. I’m scared of myself.”

In the old trailer he called home, he swore he saw shadows behind the curtains. A perky nose pecked about as the voices rose.

“What are you talking about? You’ve always been this way. At the reunion, at the fair– we can’t even talk about the funeral without you closing off and getting furious. I might like it better if you let yourself be angry at me, but you bottle it up inside. You don’t deserve that, and you’re stifling your growth!”

“Because I can’t!! I can’t bear the thought of losing you. I told myself I’d shoulder all your burdens and help you live your life, to make the angel I know a reality others see too.”

“How can you make others see me if you can’t even see yourself? Jer. Look at me. It’s going to be okay. But I need you to talk to me. Let me in. I can be your everything, if you only let me be.”

He held on for another round of memories to come in, if only to live in the past a moment longer.

But nothing. He dropped to his knees at a realization. Where he is, is what he has. Nothing more than a dropped continuity, waiting for somebody else to pick up the pieces.

Afterword

If you know anybody like Jerry, please understand that their difficulties are not your responsibility. What Jerry needs is professional help. Take care out there! It’s a rough-and-tumble world.