I’ve been kind of emotionally unreliable lately, to be honest. Always needing my space, flirting with anger I can’t or won’t try to acknowledge the root of. But I’ve been angry! Angry, sad, confused, feeling stuck. Like there’s something I’m not quite pushing through, despite my efforts. I even tried taking space from everyone to gather myself. That didn’t quite work. Well, no, it didn’t work at all. Turns out somebody out there cares for me deeply, and I while I’m even able to scare away the friends I’ve had for over a decade… I can’t scare her away. It’s something new to me. Something to get used to? Maybe… We’ll see if that works out! Here’s to hoping, despite it all!

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Splatter Paint

I’ve been burning off my life in a brand new day
Got a hate in my pocket and barrel to my head
My moonlit pain just a bitch in my way
When I’m all alone I wish I wound up dead

I’m a sick sadistic in my hollowed-out shell
Thought I borrowed from the devil
Never once left hell
Through the red in my eyes
I can see myself
I’m a piece of ugly
But I’m being myself

And it’s scattered
In the wind
My empty countenance
Just colors stuck within
I’d go with anything
Anything to wake my sleeping sanity
I’m staying in ’til the sun drops down again

Give a little to the few who know
Their passing days are not for show
Pace back and forth
Awaiting what they’ll say

“It’s not just anyone
I’m hers, she’s mine, and it’s our song”
They’re changing
To something more okay

Splatter these colors
Paint it up to everything you need
The sharp proportions
Filling the void

And if they judge you
For any errant drop they can see, they
Are nothing more
It’s okay to feel annoyed